Use Big Words, Intentional Errors and Missing or Redundant Punctuation to Slow Your Reader Down
Use Big Words Intentional Errors and Missing or Redundant Punctuation


Since MuddyUm has altered the way in which earnings are calculated, basing it on reading times rather than claps, writers have been concerned. There have been a number of suggestions to help writers maintain the same amount of income or greater, yet none have really hit the mark. These strategies however, are guaranteed to really increase reading times and they can be used with any type of article you choose to writer.

Using big words that your reader doesn’t know means they will stop to look them up. You might ask, “How can this possibly help? They’ll open a new window to look up the word clicking away from my article which will lead to the same length of time reading, except it will be chopped up.”

To the contrary, your readers could be reading on a computer, in which case it’s likely that they’ll use their cell phone to look up the words, leaving them on the page. Making them frequently stop to look up words will lead to more on-page time and each pause will be short enough to make them appear to be just really slow readers.

Even if they are using the same device to read and look up words so that they click away from your post, every time they have to do this then return it will take them a little extra time to get back into the article. This will add to their reading time.

Using exceptionally long words that they aren’t likely to know means they will likely need to read it a few times through, and be forced to return to the word several times to be able to spell it when looking it up. This is of benefit whether they are using two devices or one.

There is also an added benefit of using a lot of really long words. Since the estimated time it takes to read an article is based on the number of words, the estimate will be shorter than the amount of time it takes to actually read the post. Everything being equal readers prefer to read shorter stories of about 6–8 minutes long rather than longer ones. By adding a bunch of really long words, you can make a post appear to be a 7-minute story when in reality it’ll take them 10 minutes to read it.

Some words you might consider adding include:

  • Callipygian (not as long as some of the others but a personal favorite of mine)

Including numerous obvious mistakes throughout your post such as left out words, misspellings, and basic grammatical errors so readers will feel the need to stop and correct them is one of the best ways to increase your earnings. This strategy can quadruple the read times on your articles with numerous readers, when it’s done correctly.

The best way to use mistakes is to first create a new account with a name that sounds like it comes from a non-English speaking country. Use names that will give a strong impression that English is not your first language.

The longer and the more unusual your choice is, the better since this will cause the reader to stop and contemplate the name, possibly adding a couple of minutes to the read time. Try something in Urdu or Maori. They might even leave you a comment asking about the meaning and origin of the name, adding yet more time. If someone does this be sure to provide a long but fascinating answer which will add to every readers time from that point onward.

I’ve listed some options below in case you’re having trouble coming up with a good name (though you can also just throw a bunch of letters together randomly, which is how the Irish come up with many or their names.) Make sure to include at least four names and more if possible.

At the beginning of your story leave a note with an asterisk that says something like the following:

* I am from the country of xxx and my English not so good. If it pleases you I am gladdened to receive help with correcting my many mistakes. Please to leave in private note as I am shamed by my poor English.

Readers seeing this will likely fall into one of two camps. The first, includes the altruistic reader who just wants to help you make your article the best that it can be. The second, is the overly critical and superior reader who wants to point out your flaws and show you how smart they are, which makes them feel better about themselves. Both types of readers will be driven to stop at each mistake and leave you a note.

Be sure to reply to these readers. Say something self effacing that is overly gracious to the altruist and something that will further inflame the critic which will make them rush to your other articles so they can correct them as well, either to be helpful or to point out what a screw up you are.

Because these comments are left as private notes, subsequent readers will have no idea that others have already corrected all of your mistakes. I have often received over 100 readers on a single post who were thoughtful or obnoxious enough to correct my mistakes. These stories have earned me over $10,000 a piece!

Punctuation can be another fun way to increase your income by increasing read times. You can leave punctuation out to create amusing results that will have people reading through each one several times, after which they will likely highlight, comment and share your post with other readers. And remember, an amused reader is an engaged reader and engaged readers stick around for longer. Here is a good example from one of my travel blog posts.

Be sure to use the restroom before you leave your hotel for the day. In this country, public bathrooms are only for disabled elderly pregnant children.

Extra or unnecessary punctuation can be used to interrupt the flow of a sentence and slow the reader down. This works especially well with run on sentences. Take for example the following sentence:

Consider the variety, and serious effects of: significant, demographic changes, arising from: aging populations, and concentrations of people. in “resource-stressed” countries; serving to intensify “financial pressures,” on the viability of: affected regions, political. and social instability, in newly emerging economies, lack of natural resources, and regulatory, and legal requirements .

Create long, run on sentences without punctuation or capitals to make the reader need to stop and decipher what you are trying to say.

For example, instead of saying this:

“I was confused, at first, by run on sentences, since the examples didn’t fit the definition and because authors attacked me when I pointed this out instead of just clarifying it.”

Try this instead:

when i first learned about run on sentences i was confused because none of the examples i saw in the articles i was reading were actually run on sentences at all from the description i had read in the first article they were just really really long sentences that were longer than most people were comfortable writing, reading or saying out loud conversationally or in formal discourse but when i pointed this out to one of the authors of one of the articles in which this was the case instead of just telling me why i was wrong if in fact i was wrong which i don’t think to this day i was or clarifying the definition of a run on sentence he attacked me as a no good stupid know nothing writer wanna be who had the manners of a enraged infant throwing their oatmeal on the floor which i found to be offensive off the mark unacceptably rude not to mention just plain obnoxiously wrong

Not only does the second version take much longer to read, users will feel the need to go back and read through the passage at least once more to figure out what you are trying to say.

The new MuddyUm earnings algorithm doesn’t have to cause your income to tank. Use the strategies described here, and you’ll find your earnings quadruple over night!

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