One particular day he sent me a video of him jacking himself off in the bathroom at work and I relayed to him the desire I had to give him a helping hand one day soon. He reciprocated interest and we moved forward with discussions of me flying out to him being that he had his own place and I was living with a roommate at the time. He said he would look at tickets and let me know, but that I should look too. His initial response raised a bit of a red flag, but not enough for me to discontinue the conversation.
After feeling that I had provided him enough pictures and videos to justify adamancy, I began my email the next day with a request of when he would be flying me out. No reply. I sent him another email and lead with a different line — whether or not he liked the picture I sent him the day before and received a response within moments.
My stomach dropped as I began to put the pieces together as to what was really going on.
As he started to slowly pull away, I asked him if there was anything he had lied to me about thus far and he superficially responded with, ‘No. So…when are you coming to see me?’
My response: “That depends. When are you buying me a ticket to come see you?”
His next email read — “Well, I think you should buy the first ticket so we can make sure this is even going to work and then I will give you money while you’re here and pay for every ticket going forward.”
My objection to this suggestion was his net worth and the impact a $500 plane ticket would actually have on his bank account (The answer was not much).
The more I pushed, the more he pulled back and the clearer the reality of the situation became.
I began reverse image searching the photos Brad had sent me early on in our email exchanges and found his name to not be Brad at all, but this was no concern as I was also unclear about my legal name. Looking back, I’m sure a real name would have been safer than a full nude, but we’ll save that discussion for another time.
I eventually came across a Facebook page that had himself in the profile photo, only the name was not a man’s next to the photo. As I dug deeper, I realized not only was he dishonest about his name, but about nearly everything else he had shared with me.
The profile was for his wife.
He was married with kids and essentially broke compared to the income he had disclosed to me.
The reality finally set in.
I was in a full-blown sexting relationship with a married man who could do nothing to support my financial goals. I was mortified. I deleted the email address, removed my profile, and closed that chapter like an iron gate, padlocking it shut to never be opened again.
For months the thought of where those photos and videos might end up haunted me, but even more than that, I felt guilty for the conversations I had shared with a man who wasn’t even mine to begin with. I dreamt of how his kids would feel, knowing this about their father, and how betrayed his wife would feel if she were to find out. The most evocative thought that came to mind was how I would look to whoever heard the story without my side included.
After this experience, I played it safe a few more times with potential sugar daddies, but ultimately decided that a sugar baby profile had no place in my life. I have obviously not gone to medical school, but can safely say I did not end up in the situation that could have taken place if I were to of taken on the financial burden and flown out to see “Brad” as he wished I would.
The more I replayed his objections in my head, the more it made sense. He wanted me there when his wife wasn’t, but couldn’t afford to fly me out. Who knows what would have happened if I wouldn’t of done my research. The moral of the story is take other people’s words with a grain of salt and don’t allow yourself to be blinded by the potential for money.
Where there is a will, there is a way.