The weight is lifted off my shoulders.
A few months ago I did something that gave me the most liberating feeling I’ve ever had.
I was just reminded of it recently when I went to eat breakfast.
It was something so simple yet so hard for me to do. Nothing too crazy, but something to be proud of.
I got rid of all my unnecessary bills.
How the hell is that liberating?
Well for starters, I’m not loosing anymore money that I didn’t need to lose.
We’re not talking just chump change…I’m talking hundreds. All of this money I almost had to pay came from all of my failed business ventures.
So around a couple hundred for two websites I never finished, a membership for a graphic design website, LinkedIn Premium, you name it.
This situation has been going on for a couple years now but for some reason I never ended those payments even though I wasn’t using those subscriptions anymore.
Every month I continued to lose money right under my nose and not care enough to get off my lazy butt and get my computer so I can cancel all of these payments.
But I finally pulled the trigger a couple months ago to get rid of these payments. Every “cancel subscription” button I pressed was like an angel giving me a pat on the back.
It was liberating because the burden of these monthly payments was finally lifted off my shoulders.
Pressing that “cancel subscription” button gave me a sense of closure.
Closure for all of the mistakes and shortcoming I’ve made in life by trying to be a bona fide entrepreneur but failing within the first couple months.
I probably let all of those payments continue for so long because I felt like I would continue with that business venture.
I thought I’d finish making that website or designing that Facebook Ad or writing that blog post.
The reality for me is that I’m stubborn. Just ask anyone in my family and they’ll definitely give you a fifty page essay about that.
Giving up those subscriptions would make me feel like I’m giving up my goals. I had to keep paying or else I wouldn’t feel closer to my dreams.
In other words, “I’ll pay because it makes me feel like I’m doing something productive when it’s actually not”.
The old me was happy with her minimum wage movie theater job and being dependent on her mother.
No hard bills like a cell phone bill to worry about. Just some miscellaneous Netfilx, Spotify, Uber, etc. payments to look after every once in a while.
So I took every bill I had with a grain of salt. That was until I saw my dying bank account.
To be honest this situation was sucking the life out of me.
I kept losing motivation with every bill paid and then I’d try to muster up another solution/side job. But that would’ve been another payment on my shoulders.
I finally gained the confidence to let it all go.
The best thing about having all of those payments is that they served as a stark reminder of something I needed to get rid of.
It was clear and in my face yet I didn’t do anything to stop it. No one to blame here but myself.
The main takeaway from this underwhelming yet overwhelming situation is have pride in your self.
Have enough pride in your self to lift all of those unnecessary burdens off your shoulders, then eventually, you might feel liberated.