It’s ok, some of us are just better at generating ideas
I was often told growing up that my passive-aggressiveness would get me into trouble. Sure, there were times where I wasn’t as careful as I could have been and feelings got hurt. Yet as I’ve matured so too have my passive-aggressive quips. Now only one question remains. How can I use these talents to make some extra money? Luckily there are several ways an industrious entrepreneur can make a passive-aggressive income.
“Compliment” your client’s enemies
You’ve got a way with words. You’re not a fighter you’re a slayer. When you are hired to hang out with your new friend, your goal will be to put down her enemies. This won’t be difficult.
Your compliments are actually very well-hidden insults that will make the target lie awake for nights to come. Sleep will be impossible as they wonder if, in fact, you actually did think their earrings were something only they would wear…because they are unfashionable.
Your clients will pay you well for your well-honed passive-aggressiveness. Mostly because they won’t want you to use your talents on their insecurities.
Write thank you cards for wedding gifts the bride didn’t ask for
No bride wants to tell her cousin that their gift sucked. But what if that bride never put a duck toaster on her registry and is a known vegetarian? Rules govern our society and they state that thank you cards must be sent after a wedding. So get yourself the sweet gig of writing passive-aggressive thank you’s to the wedding guests who deserve it most.
Really they are lucky to be hearing from “the bride” at all after purchasing 1 spoon from a set of dinnerware. Though maybe they will wish they hadn’t heard anything when you subtly imply that the bride thanks them for their gift knowing it was more than they could probably afford since money is so tight due to that gambling problem.
Create an online course to maximize your income stream
Passive aggressiveness works best when you know what you’re doing. This is why amateur passive agressive insults are often seen for what they are, aggressive. If you are truly a master, then give yourself permission to show the world your talents in a one-of-a-kind online course. If someone says they don’t need your help just reply, “No worries! If you’re happy with where you are that’s all that matters.” Stunned by your abilities, and wanting to know more, they’ll sign up in droves.
Give your gift to the masses with products like tee-shirt and stationary
Society6 and websites with similar structures allow you to create your own designs and stick them onto different products. From tee-shirts to shower curtains you could have your passive-aggressiveness out there in the world, changing lives.
Notebooks with slogans like, “This journal belongs to a writer who has more than ideas.”
Or a tote bag proclaiming, “Don’t mind me, just doing something small to save the earth. But you probably just forgot your bag at home.”
Maybe tee-shirt with the large bold font reading, “Don’t worry about me, I love my body. One day you may too.”
Decipher messages for worried couples
Much like a translator your skills are highly required in today’s texting society. You don’t just see the message, you see what the sender is really trying to say. Set up an office for suspicious lovers who want to know if their partner was making a joke or was making fun of them. Relationships are built on trust and healthy texting habits. You can be the one to free someone from a toxic relationship before it gets bad.
Or you might consider creating a counseling service where you coach couples to reply with more positivity and explain which words make their partner panic and why. With great passive-aggressive power, comes great responsibility.
In capitalism, the market decides if a product has value. I guarantee that if you’re a talented passive-aggressive person, you’ll find clients who see the value in what you can do for them.