We all have that tall boy of Miller Light at the local 7-Eleven we’re saving up for. Let me show you how to achieve it overnight. TLDR: All you have to do is pour your heart out all over your keyboard and put it behind a paywall.
If you’re going to spend an hour writing, you want to make sure it’s something you actually care about. After all, it’s not every day that you get a chance to wax eloquent on the virtues of cosplay or the crushing realities of life with ADHD. Lots of people write about things they don’t care about, and it shows. As readers we can spot that a million miles away; particularly after we click on an emotionally charged title that doesn’t quite match the tone of the two paragraphs we just read. Write with heart — because many people are going to read and not care, or get five lines in before they’re super disinterested in what you have to say, and that’s something every writer wants to feel: unrequited passion.
Now here’s the tricky part. Once you write your article, you can’t just expect Medium’s publishers to do all of the heavy lifting for you. That’s what your Facebook friends and Twitter followers are for. To get a mediocre payout, you’ll need to make sure your mom, grandma, cousin Eddy, and Bill from work read — or at least view your article. Moms are a 3x read + share guaranteed, so make sure your mom sees it. To push beyond the $.75 range you’ll want to share it to a bunch of relevant Facebook groups so thousands of random people have the opportunity to not care; that’s where you start to get into rational number territory.
Assuming you’ve written an article you’re halfway proud of and you’ve shared it with as many old high school friends and complete strangers as possible, it’s time to pull up a chair, kick back, and watch the pennies roll in. Although, I don’t recommend literally doing this — Medium updates their daily stats and pay once every 24 hours GMT, so just check back every evening.
And that’s about it! Pretty soon you’ll be sipping on that Millie listening to Post Malone; and that’s what life is really all about, isn’t it?
So get to writing! Or go check your couch cushions; that’s a little less effort.