K. Aaron
Free Fitness GearSupps with Froogal K Aaron

An unbiased review to help you not get bent over a barrel (are we still using this phrase in 2020?)

Let’s face it, you’ve put off opening this type of thing for every second of your entire life.

You don’t care how many E*Trade commercials they run or how many times Uncle Dave talks about stocks (or more likely, talks down to you about “being just another stupid millennial who doesn’t know anything about investing”). Well, fuck that guy, and the industry that has literally been a minefield of exploitation to the unassuming consumer (that would be you and I here).

Why do you need this? Pretty simple.

By now you’ve hopefully switched to a better checking & savings account (ref my other articles, or go switch to Consumers Credit Union for your checking and Froogal.us for your savings) so you’ve at least got the foundation set. Truth be told though, a checking and a savings account are never going to make you rich (maybe “rich” spiritually, if you’re into that, but certainly not as it pertains to that private jet/non-stop party life all the movies display).

As this is the case, you’ll need a different, yet astoundingly simple, strategy to give you a far better shot of having 7 figures in your bank account one day (that’s a million dollars +, for the slower readers out there).

This comes in the form of a brand new investment account, which will allow you to, well, invest.

I’ll bore you to death in a follow-up article on the next step after opening this son of a gun (spoiler: it’s to buy market index funds), but let’s be real for a second, you’re maybe going to do about one productive thing today (this month) so opening the account is about as much as you care to handle.

Keeping it simple, here’s what we’re looking for in an investment account:

  • No fees
  • No minimums
  • Decent website & app
  • Mutual funds available to purchase
  • Simple process to purchase investments

That’s about it. Surprisingly, that’s been a tall order in the industry for a few decades but most of the dinosaurs are starting to evolve.

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